Our three new training courses for the Spring of 2018 are all that is needed for the aspiring rights of way officer to launch a long and ineffective career in the discipline or if you’re an old hand brush up on some essential skills you’ve probably never had.
Platitudes for local government officers.
The definitive guide! An in depth view at the effective use of platitudes in local government and how they can be best used to avoid saying anything meaningful and to be sure of never committing your authority to ever doing anything ever! On completing this course you will be able to speak fluently in irritating platitudes and piss off your tax paying customers so much they’ll never bother you again!
Prioritising rights of way reports.
Yes here it is! The foolproof way to create a priority matrix so complicated it is actually impossible for any report made by a member of the public to ..well take any priority at all. Devised by the Institutes long standing President Simon Shirker it relies on an impossible combination of days of the week, underwear and sock colour and Friday afternoon flexi time to create a priority lottery none can win! With this system in place you can discard the public and spend your time at work more creatively doing those things you’d prefer to get on with rather than what you’re paid to do!
Llamas and bridleways
When fluent in platitudes and protected from the public by our priority lottery you’ll have time for the more esoteric side of rights of way work. This six week residential course in Peru with our South American member Juan Shakystylo is the perfect start to your new direction. Juan presents his controversial theory that Llamas are legally permitted not just on public bridleways but also as a “usual accompaniment” on footpaths too! Places are booking fast!
5 thoughts on “IPROWE Training Courses.”
That’s very good Andy. I actually laughed. I’ve been making the some points about that damn Matrix.
Anyhow, well done.
But is that a typo in Rights If Way or did I miss the joke?
Very good, now what about that footbridge on the quarry byway? Surely you’re going to write about that?
I’ll tell you what Andy – why don’t you write a guest blog here and get it all off you’re chest? Happy to publish anything that’s not libelous.
I’m working on Grim Fairy Tale iii at the moment but feel free to publish i and ii. You could even add the pictures from the Examiner of the Enforcement Officers. 😎