West Yorkshire Police have launched a new elite enforcement team. Known as the SBS (like the SAS but with horses) the team is mounted on ex pit ponies from Barnsley and led by Harvey “Blunty” Smith from Bradford. At 108 years old”Blunty” is the last remaining officer from the “charge of the light brigade” still with the West Yorkshire Force.
Harvey told the blog that the SBS had been formed to tackle the loss of quiet country bridleways, an often overlooked rural crime. “Our ex pit ponies can trot at almost 2 miles an hour and we can be on any crime scene in Yorkshire within a few weeks” said Harvey. Officers are fully equipped with leotards and knee pads and will grapple suspects to the ground without hesitation.
The unique combination of horsemanship and 1970’s wrestling skills was thought up by a local government think tank at a cost of only £80085.23 per hour.
Speaking from Council HQ at the George Hotel in Huddersfield Councillor NotSo Shabby Pandor told the blog “The SBS reflects the priorities of equestrians everywhere and as a Council we are determined to improve the lives of horses and even mountain bikers, if we have to. Many residents also face a cost-of-living crisis this year, so we will step in with financial support for those equestrians who really need it. Like hotels, funding of equestrian care doesn’t come cheap but I’m sure most residents won’t mind the inevitable rise in council tax. ”
“We’re a diverse borough and every community has its own unique challenges. We feel targeting equestrian help in this way will have a huge impact. It’s not true that we are cost cutting with the 50 year old pit ponies and elderly wrestlers. Personally, I can’t wait to see Harvey and his squad grapple these stolen bridleways back into the public domain.